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The laugh-out-loud true story of one girl's experience of life on Tinder. Rosy Edwards is the epitome of a contradictory twenty-something year old. She’s frugal when it comes to food shopping, but is willing to splash out on shampoo. She’s career minded, she just doesn’t know which career to have in mind right now. And although she’s happy being single, a part of her kind of wants a boyfriend. So after a few unsuccessful dates with friends of friends (read: being forced to date their shortest/dullest/oddest acquaintance), she put herself on Tinder, the app that has transformed the world of online dating. And she soon learns the unspoken rules the hard way: always reject a guy with black and white profile pics (he is ginger and/or ugly); is wearing a hat (bald); has a shot of his torso (moron) or is not standing beside anything scaleable (5”8 and under). And then there are the dates themselves. From a sky-high dinner date to a borderline drug bust in Chelsea, Rosy has experienced it all, swinging through her love life on the trapeze of Tinder. She falls for the wrong guys, ditches the nice ones, but can she finally find her happy ending. Brilliantly honest and hilariously funny, Rosy’s story shows us all that the key to a successful love life could just be a swipe away. |
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125+ Funny Jokes: Funny Jokes for Kids! The Joke King, Johnny B. Laughing... "The Online King of Comedy" This funny joke book is excellent for long road trips, waiting rooms and reading aloud at home! The Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, silly comedy and humor! This joke book will help you dominate joke battles and be the funniest person around. These jokes are for children of all ages, teens, and adults. Funny and Hilarious Jokes for Children of all ages, Kids, Teens, and Adults! Did you know laughing has positive effects on the body? Laughter can reduce stress, help you bond with others, and even change your mood. Do yourself a favor and tell a friend a funny joke today! Scroll up and claim your copy today and start laughing! |
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From the creator of the wildly popular webcomic xkcd, hilarious and informative answers to important questions you probably never thought to ask Millions of people visit xkcd.com each week to read Randall Munroe’s iconic webcomic. His stick-figure drawings about science, technology, language, and love have an enormous, dedicated following, as do his deeply researched answers to his fans’ strangest questions. The queries he receives range from merely odd to downright diabolical: • What if I took a swim in a spent-nuclear-fuel pool? • Could you build a jetpack using downward-firing machine guns? • What if a Richter 15 earthquake hit New York City? • Are fire tornadoes possible? His responses are masterpieces of clarity and wit, gleefully and accurately explaining everything from the relativistic effects of a baseball pitched at near the speed of light to the many horrible ways you could die while building a periodic table out of all the actual elements. The book features new and never-before-answered questions, along with the most popular answers from the xkcd website. What If? is an informative feast for xkcd fans and anyone who loves to ponder the hypothetical. |
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In David Sedaris' world, no one is safe and no cow is sacred. A manic cross between Mark Leyner, Fran Lebowitz, and the National Enquirer , Sedaris' collection of essays is a rollicking tour through the national Zeitgeist: a do-it-yourself suburban dad saves money by performing home surgery; a man who is loved too much flees the heavyweight champion of the world; a teenage suicide tries to incite a lynch mob at her funeral; a bitter Santa abuses the elves. David Sedaris made his debut on NPR's Morning Edition with "SantaLand Diaries", recounting his strange-but-true experiences as an elf at Macy's, and soon became one of the show's most popular commentators. With a perfect eye and a voice infused with as much empathy as wit, Sedaris writes stories and essays that target the soulful ridiculousness of our behavior. Barrel Fever is like a blind date with modern life, and anything can happen. |
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"My old assisstent wrote a book. Preorder it cuz I fired her so now shes poor & I like doing charity 4 peple cuz I a good person" -Miranda Sings Most people might not get angry at someone for going the speed limit. Or for liking coleslaw or cantaloupe. Or for someone not responding to a ridiculously hilarious text message. Or reality show recaps. But lucky for you, Rachel Ballinger is not most people. She will yell at people and inanimate objects. Why? Because that person or thing Pissed. Her. Off. 101 Things That Piss Me Off is a quick-witted and comical collection based on Rachel's hit Youtube series "You Know What Pisses Me Off", featuring never-before-heard rants, along with photographs and illustrations to help demonstrate. Using light-hearted anger, Rachel aims to show that being heated, passionate and expressive about things we care for is important. And fun. |
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Chapters include, among others, “9 Non-threatening Leadership Strategies for Women,” "How to Ace Your Job Interview Without Over-acing It," and “Choose Your Own Adventure: Do You Want to Be Likable or Successful?” It even includes several pages to doodle on while men finish what they're saying. Each chapter also features an exercise with a set of "inaction items" designed to challenge women to be less challenging. And, when all else fails, a set of wearable mustaches is included to allow women to seem more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change their leadership style. In fact, it may even lead to a quick promotion! |
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This indispensable reference guide offers hundreds of excuses for thousands of situations—from missed birthdays to unpaid parking tickets and more! Nobody ever said being an adult was easy. But it's definitely easier with hundreds of excuses for things you did, didn't do, or simply never want to hear about again. The Little Book of Big Excuses is your guide to saving face, avoiding blame, and getting out of almost any unpleasant situation. In “Fake, Don't Flake" you’ll learn how to successfully show up late—or not at all—to any number of places for any number of reasons. "Excusez-Moi, si'l vous plait" tells you just the right words to say if you're caught wearing a halter top to a black tie event. Or forget your boss's spouse's name (again). Or don't want to pick up the tab. The French have a word for everything. And you’ll always have an excuse for not calling, IMing, or emailing with the bonus chapter: “Delivery Subsystem Failure—Mailboxes, Messages, Missives Gone Awry, Oh My!”. |
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Three-time  New York Times  bestseller Adam Carolla is back to take on social media, social justice warriors, and a society gone to s**t. “As the revolution reaches its final, most humorless stage, there’s no better, braver, or more insightful observer than Adam Carolla. You may feel despondent about what’s happening right now. This book will remind you that you should also be amused.”—Tucker Carlson In  I’m Your Emotional Support Animal , Adam Carolla examines how our culture went careening off a cliff. We used to have one that created real warriors who fought world wars. Now it spawns social justice warriors who fight Twitter wars. He takes on those who are traumatized by Trump and “emotional support animal” owners who proclaim their victimhood at every airport. He stands up for the collateral damage of the #MeToo movement and for freedom of speech on “safe space” filled college campuses. Examining the calculated commercials churned out by Madison Avenue, like the ones about cars “made with love,” Carolla rants on ads designed to either bum us out or make us think the corporation is run by Mr. Rogers. Turning to social media, Adam takes down the “hashtag heroes” who signal their virtue daily from atop Twitter mountain. And in the era of the Roomba, performances by dead celebrity holograms, and meals-on-demand delivery services, he looks down the road at our not-so-bright future as a species. “Adam and I agree on absolutely  nothing  but he’s a sharp, smart, funny guy to disagree with. And there’s a human heart under all the gruffness, snark, and melted cheese.”—Patton Oswalt Frank, funny, and utterly unapologetic, this is not a book for those who need a trigger warning, but is THE book for everyone who wants to hit the snooze bar on the “woke” culture. |
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#1  NEW YORK TIMES  BESTSELLER • From the author of Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? and creator of The Mindy Project and Never Have I Ever comes a hilarious collection of essays  about her ongoing journey to find contentment and excitement in her adult life. “This is Kaling at the height of her power.”— USA Today In Why Not Me?, Kaling shares insightful, deeply personal stories about falling in love at work, seeking new friendships in lonely places, attempting to be the first person in history to lose weight without any behavior modification whatsoever, and believing that you have a place in Hollywood when you’re constantly reminded that no one looks like you.   In “How to Look Spectacular: A Starlet’s Confessions,” Kaling gives her tongue-in-cheek secrets for surefire on-camera beauty, (“Your natural hair color may be appropriate for your skin tone, but this isn’t the land of appropriate– this is Hollywood, baby . Out here, a dark-skinned woman’s traditional hair color is honey blonde.”) “Player” tells the story of Kaling being seduced and dumped by a female friend in L.A. (“I had been replaced by a younger model. And now they had matching bangs.”) In “Unlikely Leading Lady,” she muses on America’s fixation with the weight of actresses, (“Most women we see onscreen are either so thin that they’re walking clavicles or so huge that their only scenes involve them breaking furniture.”) And in “Soup Snakes,” Kaling spills some secrets on her relationship with her ex-boyfriend and close friend, B.J. Novak (“I will freely admit: my relationship with B.J. Novak is weird as hell.”)   Mindy turns the anxieties, the glamour, and the celebrations of her second coming-of-age into a laugh-out-loud funny collection of essays that anyone who’s ever been at a turning point in their life or career can relate to. And those who’ve never been at a turning point can skip to the parts where she talks about meeting Bradley Cooper. |
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"If there's one thing I know, it's crazy. A lot of people have called me crazy. Crazy Kristen! For a while there, it was practically my name. Women all over the world get called crazy every day. But we weren't born crazy—we were made crazy." Unpacking the ups and downs of Kristen's laugh-out-loud funny, sometimes cringe-worthy dating history, He's Making You Crazy will hold your hand through deep self-reflection—while giving you that push to put on your detective's hat and hack your man's email account if you need to. From trapping your boyfriend in ridiculous lies to gathering all your crush's security question answers on the first date, Kristen shares her no-holds-barred, hysterically funny, and hard-earned advice on men, love, and modern dating. He's Making You Crazy will give you the motivation you need to get out of an unhealthy relationship (the one that's making you crazy!), the wisdom to step up and admit when you're the one in the wrong, and the courage to keep your heart open through it all. |
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From YouTube star and Facebook Video sensation Laura Clery comes a collection of comedic essays in the vein of We Are Never Meeting in Real Life by Samantha Irby and You’ll Grow Out of It by Jessi Klein. Laura Clery makes a living by sharing inappropriate comedy sketches with millions of strangers on the Internet. She writes songs about her anatomy, talks trash about her one-eyed rescue pug, and sexually harasses her husband, Stephen. And it pays the bills! Now, in her first-ever book, Laura recounts how she went from being a dangerously impulsive, broke, unemployable, suicidal, cocaine-addicted narcissist, crippled by fear and hopping from one toxic romance to the next…to a more-happy-than-not, somewhat rational, meditating, vegan yogi with good credit, a great marriage, a fantastic career, and four unfortunate-looking rescue animals. Still, above all, Laura remains an amazingly talented, adorable, and vulnerable, self-described… Idiot . With her signature brand of offbeat, no-holds-barred humor, Idiot introduces you to a wildly original—and undeniably relatable—new voice. |
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#1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness! |
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Je m’adresse aux essoufflés. À ceux qui ont tout essayé. Aux éreintés qui poursuivent le bonheur sans l’atteindre. Ceci n’est pas une recette, mais un portrait des temps qui courent et qui font du bien quand ils s’arrêtent. Un appel à une autre manière de vivre. |
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*AN INSTANT #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER* A Most Anticipated Book according to:  *Elle * Oprah Magazine * Vulture * New York Times * PureWow * AV CLub * Time Magazine * Entertainment Weekly * PureWow * Buzzfeed * The Observer * Bustle * Huffington Post * The Millions * Parade * Electric Literature * Bustle * Lithub * BookRiot * Bitch * Washington Independent * The Rumpus  * and more *  “Stay-up-all-night, miss-your-subway-stop, spit-out-your-beverage funny.... irresistible as a snack tray, as intimately pleasurable as an Irish goodbye.” —Jia Tolentino From Samantha Irby--beloved author of New York Times bestseller We Are Never Meeting in Real Life- -a rip-roaring, edgy and unabashedly raunchy new collection of hilarious essays. Irby is forty, and increasingly uncomfortable in her own skin despite what Inspirational Instagram Infographics have promised her. She has left her job as a receptionist at a veterinary clinic, has published successful books and has been friendzoned by Hollywood, left Chicago, and moved into a house with a garden that requires repairs and know-how with her wife in a Blue town in the middle of a Red state where she now hosts book clubs and makes mason jar salads. This is the bourgeois life of a Hallmark Channel dream. She goes on bad dates with new friends, spends weeks in Los Angeles taking meetings with "tv executives slash amateur astrologers" while being a "cheese fry-eating slightly damp Midwest person," "with neck pain and no cartilage in [her] knees," who still hides past due bills under her pillow.      The essays in this collection draw on the raw, hilarious particulars of Irby's new life.  Wow, No Thank   You. is Irby at her most unflinching, riotous, and relatable. |
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Quand le coeur mène la danse...Mary doit décider de la répartition des rôles pour le ballet Blanche-Neige, que l’école présentera à la Journée de la Danse. Pour le prince charmant, Bruno n’a pas de concurrent. Mais qui jouera Blanche-Neige ? Julie en a as |
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Quand le coeur mène la danse... La robe cousue par Nathalia pour le premier rôle du ballet « La Reine des Neiges » est magnifique. Mais hélas, elle disparaît du jour au lendemain du local à costumes ! Accusée à tort par ses camarades de Studio Danse, Car |
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Mary doit décider de la répartition des rôles pour le ballet Blanche-Neige, que l’école présentera à la Journée de la Danse. Pour le prince charmant, Bruno n’a pas de concurrent. Mais qui jouera Blanche-Neige ? Julie en a assez de son éternelle image de gentille héroïne, alors que Carla se verrait très bien dans ce premier rôle. Alors, au final, qui croquera dans la pomme rouge et embrassera Bruno ? Julie, Carla, ou bien qui sait, Luce ou Alia ?… Dans le monde de la danse, tout peut arriver ! |
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Relax, unwind and soak up the wisdom of the sloth with the slowest page turner you’ll ever read. From tidying and Hygge, to living Lagom, the endless pressure to be happier, live better, sleep soundly, and eat mindfully can be exhausting. But this year’s lifestyle trend finally delivers the perfect antidote – welcome to the year of the sloth. Sloths are mindfulness in action. Contemplative, deliberate, relaxed, and focused. They resist the rat race, the incessant pressures from society to be more productive, and they don’t care how many steps they’ve logged on their fitness tracker. Long-limbed, a little bit shaggy, and a lot wide-eyed, they’re wonderful creatures, not to mention completely adorable. Here you can enjoy take-it-slow wisdom inspired by sloths; including advice on sleep (more restorative than a 6am run), eating and ‘exercise’ (sloths are the original pioneers of slow food and yoga after all), work (did you know that lazy people have higher IQs?), family life, and love. Dispelling over-complicated myths about productivity, this brilliant book confirms that it really is OK to be a sloth. |
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What to Expect When You’re Your Wife Is Expecting Pregnancy books for couples abound, but You Got This, Dad is just for guys. Aaron Sharp, a dad of four, draws from his experiences to help husbands, especially first-time dads, navigate the amazing, uncertain, and sometimes scary process of pregnancy and childbirth. With self-deprecating honesty, plenty of humor, and amusing asides from his lovely wife, Elaina, Aaron steers soon-to-be dads through the complex events and emotions surrounding pregnancy. From finding out their spouse is expecting to bringing baby home, husbands will be equipped to handle whatever the next nine months (or their wife) throws at them. Guys will receive not only practical guidance but also a better appreciation for God’s miraculous gift of a new life to care for. When they know what to expect and how to support their wife, new dads will gain confidence and learn to laugh at their foibles. Give this guide to an expecting father with a reassuring smile and remind him, “You got this.”       |
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New York Times Bestseller: This anthology of Erma Bombeck’s most memorable and humorous essays is a tribute to one of America’s sharpest wits. When she began writing her regular newspaper column in 1965, Erma Bombeck’s goal was to make housewives laugh. Thirty years later, she had published more than four thousand columns, and earned countless laughs—from housewives, presidents, and everyone in between. With grace, good humor, and razor-sharp prose, she gently skewered every aspect of the American family. This collection holds the best of her columns—not just her famous quips, but also the heartbreaking observations that gave her writing such weight. In 1969, Erma wrote: “screaming kids, unpaid bills, green leftovers, husbands behind newspapers, basketballs in the bathroom. They’re real . . . they’re warm . . . they’re the only bit of normalcy left in this cockeyed world, and I’m going to cling to it like life itself.” With what Publishers Weekly calls her “infectious sense of human absurdity,” Erma Bombeck’s writing remains a timeless examination of the still-cockeyed world. This ebook features an illustrated biography of Erma Bombeck including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author’s estate. |
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The autobiography every true American has been waiting for: a shockingly candid and raw confessional from a national treasure. From his humble beginnings in a desolate Iowa coal mining town, his years at Our Lady Queen of Chewbacca High School to his odds-defying climb to the dizzying heights of becoming America’s most trusted and beloved television News Anchor, Ron Burgundy pulls no punches in Let Me Off at the Top! In his very own words Burgundy reveals his most private thoughts, his triumphs and his disappointments. His life reads like an adventure story complete with knock down fights, beautiful women and double-fisted excitement on every page. He has hunted jackalopes with Bobby Kennedy and Peter Lawford, had more than his share of his amorous exploits, and formed the greatest on-air team in the history of televised news. Along the way, he hobnobbed with people you wish you knew and some you honestly wish you didn't -- celebrities, presidents, presidents' wives, celebrities' wives, dogs, and, of course Veronica Corningstone, the love of his life. Walter Cronkite, Barbra Streisand, Katie Couric, the list goes on. Who didn’t Mr. Burgundy, or “Ron” as he is known to his friends, rub elbows with in the course of his colorful and often criminal life? This may well be the most thrilling book ever written, by a man of great physical, moral and spiritual strength and not surprisingly a great literary talent as well. This book deserves a real shot at a Pulitzer Prize. In fact if it doesn’t win one then we will finally have proof that the Pulitzer is rigged. Ron Burgundy has taken the time to write a book. We owe it to him, as honest Americans, to read it. |
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New York Times Bestseller! Dumpty: The Age of Trump in Verse is Volume 1 of a satirical poetry collection from award-winning actor and bestselling author John Lithgow. Chronicling the last few raucous years in American politics, Lithgow takes readers verse by verse through the history of Donald Trump's presidency. • Lampoons the likes of Betsy DeVos, William Barr, Rudy Giuliani, and dozens more. • Illustrated from cover to cover with Lithgow's never-before-seen line drawings. • Draws inspiration from A. A. Milne, Lewis Carroll, Edward Lear, and even Mother Goose. • Great for fans of A Very Stable Genius by Mike Luckovich, Win Bigly: Persuasion in a World Where Facts Don't Matter by Scott Adams, and The Donald J. Trump Presidential Twitter Library by The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. The poems collected in Dumpty draw inspiration from A. A. Milne, Lewis Carroll, Edward Lear, Rodgers and Hammerstein, Mother Goose, and many more. A feat of laugh-out-loud lyrical storytelling, this timely volume is bound to bring joy to poetry lovers, political junkies, and Lithgow fans alike. Audio edition read by the author. |
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It’s an actual fact—Uncle John is the most entertaining thing in the bathroom! Uncle John and his team of devoted researchers are back again with an all-new collection of weird news stories, odd historical events, dubious “scientific” theories, jaw-dropping lists, and more. This entertaining 31st anniversary edition contains 512 pages of all-new articles that will appeal to readers everywhere. Pop culture, history, dumb crooks, and other actual and factual tidbits are packed onto every page of this book. Inside, you’ll find . . . • Dogs and cats who ran for political office • The bizarre method people in Victorian England used to resuscitate drowning victims • The man who met his future pet—a stray dog—while running across the Gobi Desert • Searching for Planet X—the last unknown planet in our solar system • Twantrums—strange Twitter rants that had disastrous effects • The true story of Boaty McBoatface And much more!   |
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An instant New York Times bestseller! The sequel to the New York Times bestselling The Odd 1s Out , with all new and never-before-seen content featuring opinions, stories, and signature characters from YouTube phenomenon James Rallison James Rallison has always felt like he was on the outside looking in. His YouTube videos are all about his "odd" behavior, and with over 13 million subscribers and millions more followers on social media, these animations have found their way into the hearts of fans who also feel like a bit of an odd one. In this second installment in the Odd 1s Out series, James is back with characters, stories, and opinions, including:   •  The upside of the robot uprising   •  Questionable pizza toppings   •  Strange yet completely reasonable fears   •  Inventions that don't exist, but should Offering advice on accepting your quirks and growing up in the Internet age, The Odd 1s Out: The First Sequel is sure to be a must-have for old and new fans alike. |
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Darrell Dennis is a stereotype-busting, politically incorrect Native American/Aboriginal/Shuswap (Only he’s allowed to call himself an “Indian.” Maybe. Under some circumstances). With a large dose of humour and irreverence, he untangles some of the truths and myths about First Nations: Why do people think Natives get free trucks, and why didn’t he ever get one? Why does the length of your hair determine whether you’re good or bad? By what ratio does the amount of rain in a year depend on the amount of cactus liquor you consume? In addition to answering these burning questions, Dennis tackles some tougher subjects. He looks at European-Native interactions in North America from the moment of first contact, discussing the fur trade, treaty-signing and the implementation of residential schools. Addressing misconceptions still widely believed today, Dennis explains why Native people aren’t genetically any more predisposed to become alcoholics than Caucasians; that Native religion doesn’t consist of worshipping rocks, disappearing into thin air, or conversing with animals; and that tax exemptions are so limited and confusing that many people don’t even bother. Employing pop culture examples, personal anecdote and a cutting wit, Darrell Dennis deftly weaves history with current events to entertain, inform and provide a convincing, readable overview of First Nations issues and why they matter today. |
