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Parks and Recreation  actor and Making It co-host Nick Offerman shares his humorous fulminations on life, manliness, meat, and much more in this New York Times bestseller. Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman—who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as  Parks and Recreation ’s Ron Swanson?  Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking—he runs his own woodshop— Paddle Your Own Canoe  features tales from Offerman’s childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois—“I grew up literally in the middle of a cornfield”—to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally.   It also offers hard-bitten battle strategies in the arenas of manliness, love, style, religion, woodworking, and outdoor recreation, among many other savory entrees. A mix of amusing anecdotes, opinionated lessons and rants, sprinkled with offbeat gaiety,  Paddle Your Own Canoe  will not only tickle readers pink but may also rouse them to put down their smart phones, study a few sycamore leaves, and maybe even hand craft (and paddle) their own canoes. |
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A  New York Times  Bestseller "Funny, subversive, and able to excavate such brutally honest sentences that you find yourself nodding your head in wonder and recognition." —Lin-Manuel Miranda, composer and lyricist of In the Heights and Hamilton: An American Musical Are you a sensible, universally competent individual? Are you tired of the crushing monotony of leaping gracefully from one lily pad of success to the next? Are you sick of doing everything right?  In this brutally honest and humorous debut, musician and artist George Watsky chronicles the small triumphs over humiliation that make life bearable and how he has come to accept defeat as necessary to personal progress. The essays in How to Ruin Everything range from the absurd (how he became an international ivory smuggler) to the comical (his middle-school rap battle dominance) to the revelatory (his experiences with epilepsy), yet all are delivered with the type of linguistic dexterity and self-awareness that has won Watsky devoted fans across the globe. Alternately ribald and emotionally resonant, How to Ruin Everything announces a versatile writer with a promising career ahead. |
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Filled with everything you need to live a luckier life, Luck: The Essential Guide is here with information, advice, or if you just have to knock on wood. |
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Star of HBO Max's "Tig Notaro: Drawn," "Army of the Dead," "One Mississippi" and "Instant Family." As well as the host of the podcasts "Don't Ask Tig" and "Tig and Cheryl: True Story" with Cheryl Hines. One of America’s most original comedic voices delivers a darkly funny, wryly observed, and emotionally raw account of her year of death, cancer, and epiphany. In the span of four months in 2012, Tig Notaro was hospitalized for a debilitating intestinal disease called C. diff, her mother unexpectedly died, she went through a breakup, and then she was diagnosed with bilateral breast cancer. Hit with this devastating barrage, Tig took her grief onstage. Days after receiving her cancer diagnosis, she broke new comedic ground, opening an unvarnished set with the words: “Good evening. Hello. I have cancer. How are you? Hi, how are you? Is everybody having a good time? I have cancer.” The set went viral instantly and was ultimately released as Tig’s sophomore album, Live , which sold one hundred thousand units in just six weeks and was later nominated for a Grammy. Now, the wildly popular star takes stock of that no good, very bad year—a difficult yet astonishing period in which tragedy turned into absurdity and despair transformed into joy. An inspired combination of the deadpan silliness of her comedy and the open-hearted vulnerability that has emerged in the wake of that dire time, I’m Just a Person is a moving and often hilarious look at this very brave, very funny woman’s journey into the darkness and her thrilling return from it. |
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Discover how to embrace your best basic self in this instant New York Times bestselling, laugh-out-loud hilarious, and “refreshing to read” ( The Cut ) guidebook from the breakout star of Bravo’s hit reality show Vanderpump Rules. Millions of Vanderpump Rules viewers and podcast listeners know Stassi Schroeder as a major defender of Basic Bitch rights. There’s nothing more boring than people who take themselves too seriously. Stassi champions the things that many of us are afraid to love publicly for fear of being labeled basic: lattes, pugs, bubbly cocktails, millennial pink, #OOTD (outfit of the day, obvs), astrology, hot dogs, the perfect pair of Louboutins, romantic comedies...the list goes on and on. “There’s something for everyone under Schroeder’s big basic umbrella” ( Elle ) and in Next Level Basic, the reality star, podcast queen, and ranch dressing expert gives you hilarious and pointed lessons on how to have fun and celebrate yourself, with exclusive stories from her own life and on the set of Vanderpump Rules . From her very public breakups to her most intimate details about her plastic surgery, Stassi shares her own personal experiences with her trademark honesty—all with the hope you can learn something from them. |
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"Toxic Bible - The Book of Pluto," a playful and insightful journey inspired by the enigmatic figure of Future, the Toxic King. Explore the highs and lows of modern relationships, indulgence, and personal freedom through the lens of Future's iconic lyrics and persona. Inside, discover: - Commandments that push the boundaries of conventional wisdom. - Parables that weave tales of resilience, ambition, and the complexities of love. - Psalms that celebrate hedonism, authenticity, and the pursuit of happiness. - Proverbs offering humorous and thought-provoking insights into life's twists and turns. Whether a die-hard fan of Future or just curious about his cultural impact, "Toxic Bible - The Book of Pluto" offers a unique perspective. Not just a book, but a guide to living life on one's own terms, embracing both the toxic and transformative parts of the journey. |
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As Trump returns to the ballot in 2024, this collection of  Doonesbury  Sunday comics about the former (and possibly future) president will hit just ahead of one of the most significant election cycles in decades.  “I want to be a dictator for one day.”  – Trump Volume V of the  Doonesbury  Trump Quintet tracks the ever-metastasizing Big Lie, with Mark offering a month-by-month calendar to track the Former Guy’s burgeoning court dates. Unfortunately for the Trump Innocence Project, it turns out almost all the witnesses are former aides or allies. How did Dems manage to weaponize Trump's friends? While readers puzzle over that, they can also play a life-of-crime board game —  Donald Trump's Spree.  The only way to win, of course, is to cheat, but no problem — it’s been normalized. Fortunately, this volume also features the  Doonesbury  regulars, with Alex and Toggle raising three free-range kids and Mike happily wallowing in grandpahood. Mr. Covid retires, proud to know his wilier, more adaptive descendants will keep taking the fight to the unvaxxed. Joanie thinks Rick’s latest story is the best thing he's ever written: too bad it was actually authored by ChatGPT. Roland and Rascal, wading through Ukrainian snowdrifts, blunder into a Meta crack-up. Not even fantasy is making sense, but in  Day One Dictator,  G.B. Trudeau gives it his best shot yet. Garry Trudeau  is in his 36th year of trying to make Donald Trump go away. Nothing’s worked. |
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Get ready to be bamboozled by nature’s most bizarre, hilarious, and utterly astonishing secrets that will make you say, "Bull$#*t!" Say hello to the astonishing natural world with this mind-boggling collection of downright unbelievable facts that will have you doing double-takes at every turn. This captivating compendium is your ticket to exploring the wackiest secrets Mother Nature has up her sleeve. From the outrageous mating rituals of exotic creatures to the perplexing phenomena of Earth's wildest landscapes, True Facts That Sound Like Bull$#*t: Nature covers a vast array of topics that will leave you questioning everything you thought you knew about our planet. Each fact has been researched and verified, ensuring that even the most skeptical readers will be left in awe. Perfect for trivia buffs, nature enthusiasts, and anyone who loves a good laugh, this engaging and entertaining book is an incredible addition to your library. Inside you’ll find facts like: The world’s largest living organism is a mushroom that covers over 2,200 acres in Oregon.A single mature oak tree can drop up to 200,000 leaves in the fall.As a defense mechanism, some sea cucumbers expel their internal organs along with a toxic substance to deter predators. They can regenerate the lost organs within a few weeks.The tongue of a blue whale can weigh as much as an elephant.Vultures have stomach acid so strong that it can dissolve metal and kill harmful bacteria found in their carrion meals. Buckle up and prepare for a wild ride through the most fascinating, outlandish, and utterly mind-blowing corners of the natural world. You'll never look at nature the same way again! |
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Enjoy some adolescent humor with this collection of the award-winning comic strips about being (and raising) a teenager: “ Zits is a comedic masterpiece!” —Stan Lee Sixteen-year-old Jeremy Duncan is a high school freshman and an aspiring musician with big dreams. Sure, he spends a lot of time on his phone, but what do his parents expect when all they do is nag him about chores and homework? In the latest  Zits  collection, Jeremy tries his best to deal with a busy teenage social calendar, high school crushes, and keeping his room just clean enough to appease his overbearing—er, loving—parents. Readers will laugh, roll their eyes, and smirk along with Jeremy in each delightfully snarky  Screentime  cartoon. |
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You'll never be short of a funny insult or a good comeback with this fantastic book packed with fantastic burns and roasts! |
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The two-time New York Times bestselling author, OG Vanderpump Rules star, and host of the successful chart-topping podcast Stassi is back and better than ever with a candid guide to rethinking the girlboss life, taking the pressure off, and lessons she’s learned since becoming a mom of two. Before she wrote Off with My Head , a book about hitting what felt like rock bottom, Stassi Schroeder was writing an entirely different story: a basic bitch’s guide on how to be—wait for it—a “girlboss.” But then 2020 came along and after a global pandemic, losing her job, becoming pregnant and having her first child, and getting married, suddenly being a girlboss wasn’t the vibe. Instead of giving up, Stassi grew up and learned from her mistakes (you know, just standard evolution). After two and a half years in limbo, Stassi was ready to launch her career again. She’d come a long way from that temperamental Season One Stassi. She’d gained a new perspective on what she wants out of business, her career, and life: to carve a path for herself, on her terms. The thing is, all of this pressure to “have it all” while girlbossing it up…it’s exhausting, and Stassi isn’t sure it’s the ticket to happiness that we all thought it was. That’s truly what this book is about: the desire for joy. It’s about accepting the fact that you may not be the “perfect” parent/partner/friend/human at all times, and that’s okay. Instead of letting mom guilt or work guilt get her down, Stassi is trying to learn and to encourage us all to take the pressure off, give ourselves grace, and lean into the things that bring happiness. And if you need a little sauvignon blanc or Aperol spritz to get you through the tough days…so be it. |
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When cartoonist Bill Watterson announced that his phenomenally popular cartoon strip would be discontinued, Calvin and Hobbes fans throughout the world went into mourning. Fans have learned to survive -- despite the absence of the boy and his tiger in the daily newspaper. It's a Magical World delivers all the satisfaction of visiting its characters once more. Calvin fans will be able to see their favorite mischief maker stir it up with his furry friend, long-suffering parents, classmate Susie Derkins, school teacher Miss Wormwood, and Rosalyn the baby-sitter. It's a Magical World includes full-color Sundays and has it all: Calvin-turned-firefly waking Hobbes with his flashlight glow; courageous Spaceman Spiff rocketing through alien galaxies as he battles Dad-turned-Bug-Being; and Calvin's always inspired snowman art. There's no better way for Watterson fans to savor again the special qualities of their favorite strip. |
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I was Top Gear 's script editor for 13 years and all 22 series. I basically used to check spelling and think of stupid gags about The Stig. I also got to hang around with Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May. It didn't feel like something you should get paid for. From the disastrous pilot show of 2002 to the sudden and unexpected ending in 2015, working on Top Gear was quite a rollercoaster ride. We crossed continents, we made space ships, we bobbed across the world's busiest shipping lane in a pick-up truck. We also got chased by an angry mob, repeatedly sparked fury in newspapers, and almost killed one of our presenters. I realised that I had quite a few stories to tell from behind the scenes on the show. I remembered whose daft idea it was to get a dog. I recalled the willfully stupid way in which we decorated our horrible office. I had a sudden flashback to the time a Bolivian drug lord threatened to kill us. I decided I should write down some of these stories. So I have. I hope you like them. And now, a quote from James May: 'Richard Porter has asked me to "write a quote" for his new book about the ancient history of Top Gear . But this is a ridiculous request. How can one "write a quote"? Surely, by definition, a quote must be extracted from a greater body of writing, for the purpose of illustrating or supporting a point in an unrelated work. I cannot "write a quote" any more than I could "film an out-take". 'Porter, like Athens, has lost his marbles.' - James May |
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"Courageous, bellicose and humorous. . . . To anyone who wishes to have a generous source of quotations, this is the one. Churchill address audiences for seven decades. To those who follow World War II, this is an inspiring book to read and keep on your shelves." — Indianapolis Star A treasury of more than 1,000 quotations by and anecdotes about one of the most erudite, clever, and eloquent statesmen in history, Sir Winston Churchill. This entertaining compendium of bon mots and trivia is ideal for speakers, students of history, World War II buffs, and general readers. |
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A new collection from David Sedaris is cause for jubilation. His recent move to Paris has inspired hilarious pieces, including Me Talk Pretty One Day, about his attempts to learn French. His family is another inspiration. You Cant Kill the Rooster is a portrait of his brother who talks incessant hip-hop slang to his bewildered father. And no one hones a finer fury in response to such modern annoyances as restaurant meals presented in ludicrous towers and cashiers with 6-inch fingernails. Compared by The New Yorker to Twain and Hawthorne, Sedaris has become one of our best-loved authors. Sedaris is an amazing reader whose appearances draw hundreds, and his performancesincluding a jaw-dropping impression of Billie Holiday singing I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weinerare unforgettable. Sedariss essays on living in Paris are some of the funniest hes ever written. At last, someone even meaner than the French! The sort of blithely sophisticated, loopy humour that might have resulted if Dorothy Parker and James Thurber had had a love child. Entertainment Weekly on Barrel Fever Sidesplitting Not one of the essays in this new collection failed to crack me up; frequently I was helpless. The New York Times Book Review on Naked |
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Selected from 15 years of radio-show archives and re-edited by the author, this onderfully eclectic essay collection gives a glimpse into the thoughtful mind at work behind The Vinyl Cafe. From meditations on peacekeeping to praise for the toothpick, The Vinyl Cafe Notebooks runs the gamut from considered argument to light-hearted opinion. Whether McLean is visiting a forgotten corner of the Canadian Shield, a big-city doughnut factory, or Sir John A. Macdonald's gravesite, his observations are absorbing, unexpected, and original. With thought-provoking proposals about the world we live in and introductions to the people he meets in his extensive travels across our country, The Vinyl Cafe Notebooks is informed by McLean's intimate relationship with Canada and Canadians. Yet the collection is also an intriguing look at the writer himself—his past, his present, and his vision of the future. Sometimes funny, often wise, and always entertaining, The Vinyl Cafe Notebooks is sure to provide a wealth of reading pleasure that fans will return to again and again. |
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You are an idiot. Don't get defensive! It's not your fault. For decades your teachers, authority figures and textbooks have been lying to you. You do not have five senses. Your tongue doesn't have neatly segregated taste-bud zones. You don't know what the pyramids really looked like. You're even pooping wrong - Jesus, you're a wreck! But it's going to be okay. Because we're here to help. Packed with more sexy facts than the Encyclopedia Pornographica, the Cracked De-Textbook will teach you about the true stars of history, why you picture everything from Velociraptors to Ancient Rome incorrectly, and finally, at long last - how to pop a proper squat. This book was built from the ground up to systematically seek out, dismantle and destroy the many untruths that years of misguided education have left festering inside of you, and leave you a smarter person...whether you like it or not. The De-Textbook is a merciless, brutal learning machine. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are informed. |
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A brilliant collection of insults and sharp retorts for every situation. Includes studied insults, wry putdowns, literary, political, and dramatic rebukes, playground insults, barbs and jibes. The perfect resource for responding to life's slings and arrows with humour and satisfying venom. |
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A humorous guide on how to survive the Star Wars galaxy's many dangers The Star Wars galaxy is a dangerous place. From ruthless bounty hunters, ferocious beasts, and extreme weather, to hostile landscapes, social minefields, and backstabbing allies-perils and hazards are never far away! How do you flee an exploding Death Star? What's the best way to source a starship at a spaceport? How would you escape kidnap by Tusken Raiders on Tatooine? Survival means keeping your wits about you. This fun, practical Star Wars book will teach you how to recognise threats and learn what to do to stay alive in a galaxy far, far away. Explore the methods used by your favorite Star Wars movie characters to escape sticky situations, with this handy manual. DK's How Not to Get Eaten by Ewoks will help you to navigate galactic pitfalls, whether you're learning how to avoid offending aliens of other species, or trying to find food and shelter in emergency situations. From survival kits and disguises, to tips on diplomacy and etiquette, this book's step-by-step instructions, illuminating graphics, and beautiful illustrations will ensure your survival in a galaxy where anything can happen! |
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Spirited and whip-smart, these laugh-out-loud autobiographical essays are "a masterpiece" from the Emmy Award-winning actress and comedy writer known for 30 Rock, Mean Girls, and SNL" ( Sunday Telegraph ). Before Liz Lemon, before "Weekend Update," before "Sarah Palin," Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: a recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live ; from her passionately halfhearted pursuit of physical beauty to her life as a mother eating things off the floor; from her one-sided college romance to her nearly fatal honeymoon -- from the beginning of this paragraph to this final sentence. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've always suspected: you're no one until someone calls you bossy. Includes Special, Never-Before-Solicited Opinions on Breastfeeding, Princesses, Photoshop, the Electoral Process, and Italian Rum Cake! |
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I've experienced a lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we? |
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“This book is ridiculously hilarious, and makes my father look like a normal member of society.” —Chelsea Handler “Read this unless you’re allergic to laughing.” —Kristen Bell “If you’re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes.” —Christian Lander, New York Times bestselling author of Stuff White People Like Tuesdays with Morrie meets F My Life in this hilarious book about a son’s relationship with his foul-mouthed father by the 29-year-old comedy writer who created the massively popular Twitter feed of the same name. |
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Spirited and whip-smart, these laugh-out-loud autobiographical essays are "a masterpiece" from the Emmy Award-winning actress and comedy writer known for 30 Rock, Mean Girls, and SNL" ( Sunday Telegraph ). Before Liz Lemon, before "Weekend Update," before "Sarah Palin," Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: a recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live ; from her passionately halfhearted pursuit of physical beauty to her life as a mother eating things off the floor; from her one-sided college romance to her nearly fatal honeymoon -- from the beginning of this paragraph to this final sentence. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've always suspected: you're no one until someone calls you bossy. Includes Special, Never-Before-Solicited Opinions on Breastfeeding, Princesses, Photoshop, the Electoral Process, and Italian Rum Cake! |
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NEW YORK TIMES  BESTSELLER •  In this hilarious instant classic, the  creator of  The Mindy Project  and  Never Have I Ever  invites readers on a tour of her life and her unscientific observations on romance, friendship, and Hollywood. “[Kaling is] like Tina Fey’s cool little sister. Or perhaps . . . the next Nora Ephron.”— The New York Times   Mindy Kaling has lived many lives: the obedient child of immigrant professionals, a timid chubster afraid of her own bike, a Ben Affleck–impersonating Off-Broadway performer and playwright, and, finally, a comedy writer and actress prone to starting fights with her friends and coworkers with the sentence “Can I just say one last thing about this, and then I swear I’ll shut up about it?”    Perhaps you want to know what Mindy thinks makes a great best friend (someone who will fill your prescription in the middle of the night), or what makes a great guy (one who is aware of all elderly people in any room at any time and acts accordingly), or what is the perfect amount of fame (so famous you can never get convicted of murder in a court of law), or how to maintain a trim figure (you will not find that information in these pages). If so, you’ve come to the right book, mostly!   With several conveniently placed stopping points for you to run errands and make phone calls, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? proves that Mindy Kaling really is just a Girl Next Door—not so much literally anywhere in the continental United States, but definitely if you live in India or Sri Lanka.   Praise for  Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? “Where have you been all our lives, Mindy?” — Glamour “Who wouldn’t want to hang out with Mindy Kaling? . . . [ Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? ] is like a mash note to comedy nerds.” — Time Out New York “Very funny.” — Boston Globe |
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The best gift for the dudes and bros in your life: the fratire New York Times bestseller A******s Finish First , featuring twenty-five new and exclusive stories by Tucker Max. What do you do after you write a #1 bestselling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures that makes you rich and famous? Celebrate by getting more drunk and having insane amounts of sex, obviously. And pretty soon you’ve got another bestselling book on your hands. Stuffed full of ridiculous stories of bad decisions, debauchery, and sexual recklessness, A******s Finish First starts where I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell left off, then proceeds to “some next-level shit.” You already know how women react to confidence, game, and vodka, but what happens when you add money and fame to the mix? You get answers to the hard questions you've never thought of asking: • What’s it like to have sex with a midget? What about two midgets? • What does it do to a man to watch a nineteen-year-old do wind sprints to sober up, so that she can have sex with you before her twin sister does? • At what number of virgins does deflowering them stop being fun and start feeling like a job? • When a girl you met three hours ago decides to tattoo your name on her body, what is the appropriate reaction? The answers are inside, they are absurd and hilarious, and they are the product of one man's experiences: His name is Tucker Max, and he is still an a*****e. |
