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The lord of snark, Lawrence Dorfman, is back! With this treasury of backhanded compliments, sarcastic insults, and catty comebacks, Dorfman gives us transformative wisdom that’s sure to change your life—or at least induce a light chuckle. One question plagues us all: How do we survive all the Sturm und Drang of everyday life? The answer is but one word: snark. “She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on by a pitchfork.” —Jonathan Swift “Why don’t you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.” —P. G. Wodehouse “He’s a mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.” —Tom Waits “They hardly make ’em like him anymore—but just to be on the safe side, he should be castrated anyway.” —Hunter S. Thompson “He has a Teflon brain . . . nothing sticks” —Lily Tomlin “He has no more backbone than a chocolate éclair.” —Theodore Roosevelt Snark will keep the wolves at bay (or at least out on the porch). Snark, much like a double scotch, will help you deal with relatives, shopping, and rudeness; it is an outlet for the unleashed vitriolic bile that’s saved itself up over the months. Like a shield, it will protect you while you go about your life. Snark is your answer! |
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“All at once funny, touching, dazzlingly informative and fascinating, brilliantly imaginative and altogether wonderful. Capable of switching between divine silliness and genuinely tender sweetness, tragedy, and wonder.”—STEPHEN FRY History belongs to the heroes. But to get the full story, sometimes you have to ask the side characters.   The lives of Leonardo da Vinci, Henry VIII, and Queen Victoria fill bookshelves and fascinate scholars all over the world. But little attention is given to the ferret who posed for the Renaissance master, the servant who oversaw the Tudor’s toilet time, or the famous horse who thrilled the miserable old monarch.   These supporting cast members have been waiting in the wings for too long, and Adrian Bliss thinks it’s high time they join their glory-hogging contemporaries in the spotlight. Fortunately—thanks to some recently discovered ancient complaint letters, court transcripts, and memoirs in bottles—now they can.   Equal parts fascinating and hilarious, The Greatest Nobodies of History is a surreal love letter to life’s forgotten heroes, featuring hitherto undocumented accounts from Ancient Greece to the front lines of the Great Emu War.   All that follows really happened, and some of it could even be true. |
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In this uproarious collection of travel essays, Chelsea Handler sneaks her sharp wit through airport security and delivers her most absurd and hilarious stories ever. On safari in Africa, it's anyone's guess as to what's more dangerous: the wildlife or Chelsea. But whether she's fumbling the seduction of a guide by not knowing where tigers live (Asia, duh) or wearing a bathrobe into the bush because her clothes stopped fitting seven margaritas ago, she's always game for the next misadventure. The situation gets down and dirty as she defiles a kayak in the Bahamas, and outright sweaty as she escapes from a German hospital on crutches. When things get truly scary, like finding herself stuck next to a passenger with bad breath, she knows she can rely on her family to make matters even worse. Thank goodness she has the devoted Chunk by her side-except for the time she loses him in Telluride. Complete with answers to the most frequently asked traveler's questions, hot travel trips, and travel etiquette, none of which should be believed, Uganda Be Kidding Me has Chelsea taking on the world, one laugh-out-loud incident at a time. |
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Named one of Us Weekly ’s Best Celebrity Memoirs of 2022 The New York Times bestselling author of Next Level Basic and fan-favorite alumna of Bravo’s Vanderpump Rules returns with the definitive Basic Bitch handbook for surviving your rock-bottom moments. The year 2020 was going to be the best year of Stassi’s life. Besides getting engaged and feeling like she was on top of the world career-wise, she bought her first house and was planning her dream Italian wedding. The future showed so much freaking promise—until it all went to hell. Stassi may not be perfect—she may have made some (major) mistakes—but she does feel like she has some insight (and plenty of hilarious tales) about getting knocked up, called out, and learning from what went wrong. Through stories, confessions, illustrations, and plenty of self-reflection and self-deprecation, this new book goes behind the scenes and addresses the experience of getting cancelled, getting that positive pregnancy test, and saying “I do” in the backyard instead of in Italy. Stassi won’t hold back about her transformation from proud basic bitch to... proud basic bitch who has a deeper appreciation for what’s really important in life: love, relationships, mutual respect, and, okay fine, an Aperol spritz and some showtunes when you need them most. Stassi hopes her story will help others see the light at the end of the tunnel in their own lives and make them laugh along the way. She writes about the importance of having a good cry (at work, in the shower, in your closet), ways to navigate social media responsibly (sometimes that means logging the eff off when crowds are chanting, “OFF WITH HER HEAD”), how to practice self-care when wine is not an option, and how not to become a Bridezilla—plus she’ll offer tips on marrying your f*ckboy, embracing pregnancy sweats (both cashmere sweats and night sweats), and styling baby OOTDs. So roll up your bedazzled sleeves…or the sleeves of the tattered robe you’ve been wearing nonstop because you’re at rock bottom; grab a cocktail; and let your favorite (more evolved) basic bitch take you on a wild ride inside the bumpiest year of her life. |
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One of Canada’s top comedians shares the funniest stories from his life and career in this collection of hilarious essays For more than two decades, Gerry Dee has made audiences laugh, first as a hard-working stand-up comedian, and then as the star of his own CBC television program, Mr. D. Dee became a physical education teacher, thinking he would have it made: coaching, summers off and a good pension. But he found himself dreaming of a career in comedy, until one day, years later, he turned in his teaching certificate and picked up a microphone. He went on to become one of Canada’s top comics. In his new book of essays, Dee writes about his life—being a kid in suburban Toronto, becoming a father, starring in his own TV show, going on the road to comedy clubs across Canada and the US. He takes us behind the scenes of Last Comic Standing, Mr. D and everywhere in between. There was the time he set up his own DVD-signing appearances, only to have no one show up. Or the time he was flown to the Bahamas, where he performed for drunken fishermen and their “nieces.” And he shares his lifelong affliction with hypochondria and all the medical conditions he doesn’t have. This is Gerry Dee at his comedic finest.  |
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Spirited and whip-smart, these laugh-out-loud autobiographical essays are "a masterpiece" from the Emmy Award-winning actress and comedy writer known for 30 Rock, Mean Girls, and SNL" ( Sunday Telegraph ). Before Liz Lemon, before "Weekend Update," before "Sarah Palin," Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: a recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live ; from her passionately halfhearted pursuit of physical beauty to her life as a mother eating things off the floor; from her one-sided college romance to her nearly fatal honeymoon -- from the beginning of this paragraph to this final sentence. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've always suspected: you're no one until someone calls you bossy. Includes Special, Never-Before-Solicited Opinions on Breastfeeding, Princesses, Photoshop, the Electoral Process, and Italian Rum Cake! |
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An entertaining illumination of the stupid beliefs that make us feel wise, based on the popular blog of the same name.   Whether you’re deciding which smartphone to purchase or which politician to believe, you think you are a rational being whose every decision is based on cool, detached logic. But here’s the truth: You are not so smart. You’re just as deluded as the rest of us—but that’s okay, because being deluded is part of being human. Growing out of David McRaney’s popular blog, You Are Not So Smart reveals that every decision we make, every thought we contemplate, and every emotion we feel comes with a story we tell ourselves to explain them. But often these stories aren’t true. Each short chapter—covering topics such as Learned Helplessness, Selling Out, and the Illusion of Transparency—is like a psychology course with all the boring parts taken out. Bringing together popular science and psychology with humor and wit, You Are Not So Smart is a celebration of our irrational, thoroughly human behavior. |
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No one knows what they're doing - why should you?! Google doesn't have the answer Dream big, plan small When in doubt, Helvetica Assumption is the mother of all fuck ups Stay curious In this straight-talking guide to the real world of work, discover genuinely useful advice that will help you find the confidence to go for that promotion, quit your job, break into that industry, nail that pitch or climb over a creative brick wall. With 120 irreverent, unusual but always useful insights, this book will help you reach your career goals. |
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An all-new collection of furiously funny rants from the most recent seasons of the Rick Mercer Report plus three brilliantly written, previously unpublished pieces by Rick. Illustrated throughout with photos and snatches of dialogue from Rick’s encounters and exploits across Canada.   “[Mercer’s] trademark one-camera rants against the Canadian parliamentary machine are more concise, and more believable, than any campaign ads.” — The Globe and Mail   “The comedian of choice for viewers who read.” — Toronto Life   “Canada’s hottest TV comic.” — Maclean’s   "Week after week, Mercer continues to delight with his alternately giddy and cutting political humour.” — The Canadian Press   “Canada’s leading political satirist.” — The New York Times     “A good rant is cathartic. Ranting is what keeps me sane. They always come from a different place. Take the prime minister, for example. Sometimes when I rant about him, I am angry; other times, I am just severely annoyed—it’s an important distinction.” —Rick Mercer, from his introduction   Within these pages you’ll find every rant that Rick has so brilliantly and blisteringly delivered since the publication of his previous bestseller, Rick Mercer Report: The Book . Together these rants form a chronicle of human folly, mostly featuring politicians, of course, but with honorable mentions going to people who don’t know how to use escalators and Canadian drivers who don’t think they need snow tires.    Is Mercer getting better or are the fools among us getting worse? Whatever the inspiration—Rick Mercer’s ranting has never been stronger or more on target.    There is a loud, cathartic laugh to be found on almost every page here—with the exception of Rick’s impassioned rant on bullying in schools, words that touched thousands of Canadians, went viral and helped widen the debate on a major problem. Also reprinted here is the rant encouraging students to vote, which resulted directly in a campus ballot and outrage in Ottawa.  (People still are still standing on the left on escalators, and the prime minister is still very much the man he was, but you can’t win them all.)   In addition, Rick has authored three new essays specially for this book: the hilarious behind-the-scenes story of his meeting with Rick Hansen, a hero who absolutely was not a disappointment in real life; a heartfelt reflection on public reaction to his bullying rant; and an account of his response—mystified, followed by delighted—to the news that he’d inspired a “vote mob.”   Illustrated throughout with photographs and dialogue from Rick’s travels across Canada, A Nation Worth Ranting About will make you proud, will make you think, will make you almost as angry as Rick, and over and over again will make you laugh out loud. |
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New York Times Bestseller Like Bridget Jones’ Diary but all true— a wildly funny, occasionally heartbreaking memoir from the funny, sharp British journalist and podcast host, who Elizabeth Gilbert calls “a sparkling Roman candle of talent.” “The older you get, the more baggage you carry. When you date at twenty-five, everyone walks into the bar with a very neat, light carry-on. When you date from thirty onwards, get ready to meet someone absolutely brimming with history, complications and demands.” When it comes to the trials and triumphs of becoming an adult, writer Dolly Alderton has seen and tried it all. In her memoir, she vividly recounts falling in love, finding a job, getting drunk, getting dumped, and that absolutely no one can ever compare to her best girlfriends. Everything I Know About Love is about bad dates, good friends and—above all else— realizing that you are enough. Glittering with wit and insight, heart and humor, Dolly Alderton’s unforgettable debut weaves together personal stories, satirical observations, a series of lists, recipes, and other vignettes that will strike a chord of recognition with women of every age. |
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Discover how to embrace your best basic self in this instant New York Times bestselling, laugh-out-loud hilarious, and “refreshing to read” ( The Cut ) guidebook from the breakout star of Bravo’s hit reality show Vanderpump Rules. Millions of Vanderpump Rules viewers and podcast listeners know Stassi Schroeder as a major defender of Basic Bitch rights. There’s nothing more boring than people who take themselves too seriously. Stassi champions the things that many of us are afraid to love publicly for fear of being labeled basic: lattes, pugs, bubbly cocktails, millennial pink, #OOTD (outfit of the day, obvs), astrology, hot dogs, the perfect pair of Louboutins, romantic comedies...the list goes on and on. “There’s something for everyone under Schroeder’s big basic umbrella” ( Elle ) and in Next Level Basic, the reality star, podcast queen, and ranch dressing expert gives you hilarious and pointed lessons on how to have fun and celebrate yourself, with exclusive stories from her own life and on the set of Vanderpump Rules . From her very public breakups to her most intimate details about her plastic surgery, Stassi shares her own personal experiences with her trademark honesty—all with the hope you can learn something from them. |
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An American comic icon tells the story of his second–act rise from obscurity to multimedia stardom. "When I was a kid," writes Rodney Dangerfield, "I worked tough places in show business––places like Fonzo's Knuckle Room. Or Aldo's, formerly Vito's, formerly Nunzio's. That was a tough joint. I looked at the menu. They had broken leg of lamb." For once, one of America's most beloved comic icons isn't kidding. Dangerfield has seen every aspect of the entertainment industry: the rough–and–tumble nightclubs, the backstage gag–writing sessions, the drugs, the hookers, the lousy day jobs – and the red–carpet star treatment. As he traces his route from a poor childhood on Long Island to his enshrinement as a comedy legend, he takes readers on a roller–coaster ride through a life that has been alternately touching, sordid, funny, raunchy, and uplifting – equal parts "Little Orphan Annie" and "Caligula." And unlike most celebrity autobiographers, he seems to have no qualms about delivering the unfiltered whole story, warts and all. Dangerfield's personal story is also a rollicking show business tale, full of marquee name–droppings (Adam Sandler, Sam Kinison, Jim Carrey, Johnny Carson, Jerry Seinfeld) and good stories about same. Defying the old saws about the fleeting nature of fame and the dearth of second acts in American life, Dangerfield transformed himself from a debt–ridden aluminium–siding salesman named Jack Roy to a multimedia superstar – and stayed an icon for decades. His catchphrase – "I get no respect" – has entered the lexicon, and he remains a visible cultural presence and perennial talk–show guest. Dangerfield's hilarious and inspiring musings should thrill comedy fans and pop–culture watchers, and his second–act comeback will strike a chord with readers of all stripes. Maybe he'll even get some respect. |
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First published in 2001 to national acclaim, Notes on a Beermat is Nicholas Pashley’s ode to the amber nectar of the gods, a witty meditation on beer and everything that goes with it—from socializing to the solitary pleasures of a beer and a book, to the qualities necessary in a good pub. Most books about beer focus on the beverage itself, how to make it and how to buy it. Notes on a Beermat, the only Canadian book of its kind, explains how to drink beer and why it is absolutely necessary. With characteristic wit and charm, Pashley observes, for example, that “to ensure a steady and regular supply of beer, it was necessary to cultivate grain. This in turn transformed early man from the hunter-gatherer to the agriculturist. Even then, beer was making people smarter.” Whether you’re out for an after-work drink with colleagues or you’re looking for a seat at your favourite watering hole, Pashley is your guide. His stories about searching for the perfect pub, the best time of day to drink beer and the silliest pub conversation he’s ever had will leave you laughing into your pint. |
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A VULTURE  BEST COMEDY BOOK OF 2023  From the star of the “deeply funny, unexpectedly informative” (The Daily Beast) Netflix mockumentary Cunk on Earth , a helpful guide covering every single topic in the known universe, from Adam and Eve to Top Gun. Once in a blue moon, a book comes along that changes the world. The Origin of Species. War and Peace. 1984. And now, Cunk on Everything: The Encyclopedia Philomena , by Philomena Cunk. Philomena Cunk is one of the greatest thinkers of the 21st century, and in Cunk on Everything she turns her attention to our biggest issue: why are there so many books? Wouldn't it be better if there was just one? This is that book — an encyclopedia of all human knowledge, delving into not only life's greatest mysteries but our most important political figures and cultural touchstones.  Read it, and you'll never have to read another book again. |
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‘Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.’ Henry David Thoreau Host an air guitar tournament for your friends and family. Learn origami. Fold all your £10 notes into swans and pay with them. Cartwheel down the street. Tell nothing but the truth all day. Prepare for a grand adventure, instigate a little mischief and embrace a sunnier outlook with this book of feel-good quotations and quirky ideas that will keep you smiling all year. |
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Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book. Sample Book Insights: #1 Mike is a day trader who was wrong about the stock market in 2009. He lost everything and had to quit trading full-time. He continued to dabble in stocks, betting on long-shot stocks that could potentially make him a millionaire, until he found GameStop. #2 Mike was not prescient. He just got lucky. He was not prescient because he was not a professional. He was a day trader who had lost everything in 2009 and continued to dabble in stocks until he found GameStop in 2020, which he then bought options on and made $25 million. -> The story of Mike is not that it takes serious smarts and years of experience studying the stock market to correctly predict why and when stock prices will rise and fall. It just takes luck. #3 The stock market is a crapshoot. Some people are lucky and make big profits, while others are not. #4 Humans are the why specialist species. We have a burning desire to understand cause and effect, which distinguishes us from other animals. But this ability did not give us an edge when it came to stock price predictions. |
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Wild, dangerous, and flat-out unbelievable, here is the incredible #1 bestselling memoir of the Canadian actor, gambler, and raconteur, and one of the greatest stand-up comedians of all time. A Globe and Mail Best Book of the Year As this book’s title suggests, Norm Macdonald tells the story of his life—more or less—from his origins on a farm in the backwoods of Ontario and an epically disastrous appearance on Star Search to his account of auditioning for Lorne Michaels and his memorable run as the anchor of Weekend Update on Saturday Night Live—until he was fired because a corporate executive didn’t think he was funny. But Based on a True Story is much more than just a memoir; it’s the hilarious, inspired epic of Norm’s life. In dispatches from a road trip to Las Vegas (part of a plan hatched to regain the fortune he’d lost to sports betting and other vices) with his sidekick and enabler, Adam Eget, Norm recounts the milestone moments, the regrets, the love affairs, the times fortune smiled on his life, and the times it refused to smile. As the clock ticks down, Norm’s debt reaches record heights, and he must find a way to evade the hefty price that’s been placed on his head by one of the most dangerous loan sharks in the country. As a comedy legend should, Norm peppers these pages with classic jokes and long-mythologized Hollywood stories. This wildly adventurous, totally original, and absurdly funny saga turns the conventional “comic’s memoir” on its head and gives the reader an exclusive pass inside the mad, glorious mind of Norm Macdonald. |
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One part memoir, one part comedy special, one part crazy first date. Just you and Matt between the covers. What could be better? Matt Rife is well aware that he’s both the most loved and the most controversial comic in America today. And honestly, he thinks that’s your problem. Matt reveals (without apology, of course) what led him to becoming comedy’s biggest lightning rod before he reached thirty, in a story full of bold and hysterical takes on everything from Justin Bieber tramp stamps and rap battles with ex-cons to Matt’s struggles with depression and his many brushes with failure before finally hitting it big. Born in trashy backwoods Ohio, Matt was saved by his foul-mouthed but loving grandpa Steve, who fostered his passion for standup. He started hitting comedy clubs before he could even drink, cutting his teeth in front of crowds who dared him to succeed. Matt honed a brand of razor-sharp, brutally honest standup that took no prisoners—and took him to the most famous stages of Atlanta and LA before he graduated high school. Along the way, he broke the hearts of MILFs everywhere, finally hit puberty at the ripe age of twenty-two, and never, ever backed down. Full of Matt opening up, at his unfiltered best, about his life for the very first time, this book will give his millions of fans everything they want and more—and might even get his insecure enemies to change their minds. |
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Every bodily ache, blurry menu, and grocery trip is a comedic adventure within a dark reality.   While reading this book, you will be able to face your aches and pains without fear of the future. Additionally, you will be able to confront the challenges of aging with a smile on your face and a laugh-out-loud handbook by your side.   “This book is not for the young,” Rutland warns with a twinkle in his eye. “Do not let them read it; they cannot bear it.” In a world where the challenges of aging loom large, Keep On Keeping On by Mark Rutland offers a laugh-out-loud handbook on how to embrace perpetual youth. This book is not just an ode but a comedic anthem to the sublime revolt against the encroaching darkness, a celebration of the sweet rage that defies the dying of the light. For those who have bravely stepped out from behind the impenetrable veil of comforting delusion into a new reality, Rutland’s witty narrative unfolds as a mirror to their experiences. For all of us, age is always ignored until its presence can no longer be denied. Throughout this timeless journey, you will embark on a grand adventure to magical locations such as: The grocery store The doctor’s office The diner down the street Keep On Keeping On is for those who see that the good night is just around the bend. It is a literary companion for those who understand that the dying of the light is not a poignant literary device but a day-to-day reality. The loss of the beloved delusion is presented with comedic flair, offering a severe dose of reality that is not only relatable but, with Rutland’s comedic touch, surprisingly uplifting. |
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L'ouvrage en question consiste en des miscellanées de témoignages recueillis auprès de commerçants, artisans, ouvriers, caissières de tous horizons. Il illustre l’adage « le client est roi » que d’aucuns ont tendance à prendre au pied de la lettre. Du sympathique « casse-burnes » au mauvais payeur, en passant par le fou hystérique ou la dame qui connaît mieux que vous votre job, vous retrouverez sans doute parmi ces anecdotes vos propres clients, sinon une belle-mère, une bonne copine un peu tyrannique sur les bords, un collègue de travail indélicat... Vous-même, allez savoir ! Après tout, on est tous le pire client de quelqu’un ! |
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I've experienced a lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we? |
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“This book is ridiculously hilarious, and makes my father look like a normal member of society.” —Chelsea Handler “Read this unless you’re allergic to laughing.” —Kristen Bell “If you’re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes.” —Christian Lander, New York Times bestselling author of Stuff White People Like Tuesdays with Morrie meets F My Life in this hilarious book about a son’s relationship with his foul-mouthed father by the 29-year-old comedy writer who created the massively popular Twitter feed of the same name. |
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Spirited and whip-smart, these laugh-out-loud autobiographical essays are "a masterpiece" from the Emmy Award-winning actress and comedy writer known for 30 Rock, Mean Girls, and SNL" ( Sunday Telegraph ). Before Liz Lemon, before "Weekend Update," before "Sarah Palin," Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: a recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live ; from her passionately halfhearted pursuit of physical beauty to her life as a mother eating things off the floor; from her one-sided college romance to her nearly fatal honeymoon -- from the beginning of this paragraph to this final sentence. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've always suspected: you're no one until someone calls you bossy. Includes Special, Never-Before-Solicited Opinions on Breastfeeding, Princesses, Photoshop, the Electoral Process, and Italian Rum Cake! |
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NEW YORK TIMES  BESTSELLER •  In this hilarious instant classic, the  creator of  The Mindy Project  and  Never Have I Ever  invites readers on a tour of her life and her unscientific observations on romance, friendship, and Hollywood. “[Kaling is] like Tina Fey’s cool little sister. Or perhaps . . . the next Nora Ephron.”— The New York Times   Mindy Kaling has lived many lives: the obedient child of immigrant professionals, a timid chubster afraid of her own bike, a Ben Affleck–impersonating Off-Broadway performer and playwright, and, finally, a comedy writer and actress prone to starting fights with her friends and coworkers with the sentence “Can I just say one last thing about this, and then I swear I’ll shut up about it?”    Perhaps you want to know what Mindy thinks makes a great best friend (someone who will fill your prescription in the middle of the night), or what makes a great guy (one who is aware of all elderly people in any room at any time and acts accordingly), or what is the perfect amount of fame (so famous you can never get convicted of murder in a court of law), or how to maintain a trim figure (you will not find that information in these pages). If so, you’ve come to the right book, mostly!   With several conveniently placed stopping points for you to run errands and make phone calls, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? proves that Mindy Kaling really is just a Girl Next Door—not so much literally anywhere in the continental United States, but definitely if you live in India or Sri Lanka.   Praise for  Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? “Where have you been all our lives, Mindy?” — Glamour “Who wouldn’t want to hang out with Mindy Kaling? . . . [ Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? ] is like a mash note to comedy nerds.” — Time Out New York “Very funny.” — Boston Globe |
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The best gift for the dudes and bros in your life: the fratire New York Times bestseller A******s Finish First , featuring twenty-five new and exclusive stories by Tucker Max. What do you do after you write a #1 bestselling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures that makes you rich and famous? Celebrate by getting more drunk and having insane amounts of sex, obviously. And pretty soon you’ve got another bestselling book on your hands. Stuffed full of ridiculous stories of bad decisions, debauchery, and sexual recklessness, A******s Finish First starts where I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell left off, then proceeds to “some next-level shit.” You already know how women react to confidence, game, and vodka, but what happens when you add money and fame to the mix? You get answers to the hard questions you've never thought of asking: • What’s it like to have sex with a midget? What about two midgets? • What does it do to a man to watch a nineteen-year-old do wind sprints to sober up, so that she can have sex with you before her twin sister does? • At what number of virgins does deflowering them stop being fun and start feeling like a job? • When a girl you met three hours ago decides to tattoo your name on her body, what is the appropriate reaction? The answers are inside, they are absurd and hilarious, and they are the product of one man's experiences: His name is Tucker Max, and he is still an a*****e. |
